


Allura's Never Seen Star Wars

by Awseomness



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (potentially shippy if you like that sort of thing), A whole fic about people sitting down and watching movies, Gen, One part commentary on the Star Wars movies, One part cultural thought experiment, One part platonic character fluff, Star Wars - Freeform, riveting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 06:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12382695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awseomness/pseuds/Awseomness
Summary: Pidge comes to the realization that she has an opportunity no Earthling has ever had: an opportunity to observe the impact of the storytelling of Star Wars on a person whose cultural background is not inescapably infused with Star Wars references. Someone who does not know Darth Vader is Luke's father. Someone who does not know Leia is Luke's sister. Someone without the cultural context necessary to recognize the admittedly poor dialogue of the prequel trilogy.Someone like Princess Allura.





	Allura's Never Seen Star Wars

"No. Freaking. WAY!"

Pidge flinched. Lance had shouted right next to her ear.

He turned toward Coran, incensed. "How long has this been here?!"

"The armory has existed in the castle since before it was flight-worthy." Coran smoothed his mustache. "Where do you think the Princess was getting her weapons from?"

"I don't care about that. I care about that!" Lance motioned to Hunk who was holding a small, metal handle, from which emitted a four-foot-long beam of humming, purple light.

Hunk, for his measure, was completely mesmerized. "So cool."

"What, the laser epee?" Coran shrugged. "It's more sports equipment than a weapon. Your bayards are superior in every way."

"Yeah, but they're not LIGHTSABERS!" Lance rummaged through the armory until he found two armfuls of the things. "What colors do they come in?"

Allura was smiling, but visibly confused. "Red, yellow, purple, and blue." She glanced at Pidge. "No green, I'm afraid."

Pidge didn't care. "That's fine. I'll make do."

Lance ignited a blue lightsaber and ran at Hunk who blocked it and screamed. "Wait! Wait! I don't wanna lose a hand!"

"No worries of that." Corran said, "The laser epee can't cut through paladin armor. You're completely safe."

"I am?" Hunk's fearful expression turned confident. "Oh, you're goin' down, Lance!"

Pidge and Keith squatted at the pile of lightsabers Lance had dropped. Pidge ignited and extinguished a couple before finding a yellow one.

Hunk stood over Lance, looming like a predator about to strike. Lance scurried fearfully backwards on all fours.

"When we left, I was but the learner." Hunk lifted his saber high. "Now, I am the master."

"Hey Hunk!" Pidge called.

Hunk turned. "Yeah?"

"Trade you a yellow for your purple."

"Done!" They tossed each other their hilts.

Hunk lifted his new yellow saber high-

Lance was gone!

Hunk turned around quickly, just in time to block a swing.

"Dude, no one uses a yellow lightsaber."

"Yeah-huh!" They broke the saber lock and, in lieu of backflips, they each took three steps back. "Zayne Carrick did."

"Who's Zayne Carrick?"

"He's from the old Legends canon."

Lance rolled his eyes. "Nobody reads that stuff!"

"I do!"

"A-hem!"

They both turned to see Keith standing equidistant from them. His arm was extended with a long hilt held sideways. A red beam extended from it. Then, a second red beam emerged from the other end.

Hunk and Lance's eyes widened.

What happened next was a blur of light and motion. Keith was, obviously, much better with a sword-type weapon than either of the gunners.

"Pidge!" Hunk called.

"Pidge, help!" Lance shouted.

"Don't let the Sith win, Pidge!"

Pidge grinned and ran toward them, but stopped half way and turned back to Allura. "You guys want in? It could be a team-bonding exercise."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to show you guys up." Corran sniffed, though he unconsciously rubbed a spot on his back. "Your forms are all wrong, and I'd probably thrash you. I was a champion laser fencer back in the day."

"I'll watch, thanks." Allura said. "I feel like I'm missing some context to all of this."

"Well, if you change your mind..." Pidge shrugged, then ran into the fray. It made sense, she supposed. Allura had never seen Star Wars.

***

"So for this exercise, you're going to be maneuvering down this canyon, avoiding the falling rocks, bloodthirsty wildlife, and powerful electric storms, and you'll end your run by firing on a target only two meters wide at the end. If you miss the target, you'll have to fly back and try again." Coran smiled. "Any questions?"

"Two meters?" Hunk said. "That's impossible! Even for a computer."

"It's not impossible." Lance countered. "I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters."

"Womp rats?" Allura stepped forward. "Are those anything like a yalmor? I have some experience with those."

"What? No. They're- well they're like..." Lance's shoulders drooped. "Yeah, sure. Like a yalmor."

Keith interjected. "Man your ships. And may the Force be with you."

They all walked toward their lions, but Allura fell in beside Pidge. She leaned down to whisper, "What force? What's he talking about."

"It's a human thing." Pidge said. "Part of our religion."

Allura hmmed, but seemed to accept it. It wasn't her fault. Allura had never seen Star Wars.

***

"And you're sure you can hook up the DVD player?" Pidge had four large boxes in her arms and was struggling not to drop any of them.

"I hooked up your game system, didn't I?" Hunk had several dozen smaller boxes in his arms, each one holding between one and four DVDs.

Their trip to the mall had been a successful one this time, garnering many Earthling amenities in addition to the supplies they actually needed.

"We got so much stuff!" Lance shouted. "We got the good Star Trek movies, two seasons of Third Rock from the Sun, Wonder Woman, the Ghostbusters remake, Freaky Friday, and a box collection of MST3K!"

"I didn't know you were a fan of classic cinema." Keith was holding his own share of boxes as well as Lance's. He wasn't smiling.

Lance, however, was grinning wide. "Well, I think I have something we can all agree on!" He rummaged into the pile of boxes Keith was holding and pulled out three DVD boxes. "Da dana da!"

He held aloft the original Star Wars Trilogy.

"I haven't seen Star Wars in years!" Keith said with a faraway look in his eye.

"Is it the remastered theatrical release? Tell me it is!" Hunk had placed his boxes on the ground to get a better look.

"Nah, it's the special edition from the nineties." Some of the enthusiasm left Lance's voice as he said that, but he revved it back up. "But it's still Star Wars, baby!"

"I used to watch Star Wars with my family every May." Pidge said, wistfully. "It was my dad's favorite series."

She quickly realized she was probably being a bummer and tried to save it. "I always wanted to be Luke, you know?"

"Heck yeah!" Lance posed. "A hot-shot pilot, saving the day and gettin' the girl."

"The girl's his sister." Keith said, moving again.

"He doesn't know that!" Lance followed and Hunk quickly grabbed his haul again to follow after.

Allura stepped into the hallway, decked out in her new sparkly jewelry. She wasn't carrying anything. "They seem enthusiastic."

"They're talking about Star Wars." Pidge said with a shrug. She shifted the boxes in her arms to get ready to move again.

"You know," Allura mused, more to herself than to Pidge, "I've never seen Star Wars."

***

It was months after she'd first had the thought. It was weeks since she'd last had it.

Pidge awoke with a start, dripping with a cold sweat.

She steadied her breathing and, eyes wide, she whispered, "Allura's never seen Star Wars."

***

Major victories always allowed the team some downtime. Generally as they traveled from place to place or participated in celebrations and diplomatic functions for the Alliance. This time, they should have at least a few days, barring any red alerts.

Still, Allura had her diplomatic duties in addition to being a paladin, so she had a lot less free time than any of the humans. She might not go for this.

Pidge had to try.

When Pidge walked on to the bridge, Allura was facetiming with a member of the local population they had most recently liberated. He seemed grateful, but they all did.

The call ended and Pidge called out. "Hey, Princess."

Allura turned. "Yes, Pidge, what is it?"

"I was wondering..." There was not an unawkward way to ask this, apparently, "If you maybe had some time free? Not now! But, later, maybe, that we could spend together."

Allura raised an eyebrow and Pidge realized that sounded like a date.

"There's an activity I wanted to share with you." No, wrong! "I mean!" Pidge took a deep breath. "I was hoping I could share with you some of my culture. I think it would help you interact with us, and I also think you would probably enjoy it."

Allura looked wary for a moment. "What sort of activity?"

"Well, you remember how you've never seen Star Wars?"

"That video series you all make reference to?"

"Exactly! It's one of the foundational myths of our culture, to that point that everything we have now exists within the context of Star Wars existing. To understand Earthling culture, you have to know Star Wars."

"I am interested in learning more about you." Allura thought for a moment. "How long would it take?"

Pidge did some quick conversions in her head. "About eight and a half vargas. Factor in breaks to stretch, use the fresher, and talk about each film, probably closer to ten."

"And who all would be involved?"

"Just us." Pidge said. "I really want you to go in without any preconceptions, and I know how Hunk and Lance watch movies."

"So, you're proposing we spend an entire day together, alone, while you share with me something very important to you."

Crud, that still sounded like a date! "...Yeah."

"That sounds lovely." Allura said after a moment, to Pidge's complete shock. "I should have some time free in two quintants. We can start early."

"Good. Great!" Pidge nodded. "Perfect! Thanks."

***

"Do you think you could make a day's worth of snacks for me and Allura?"

Hunk thought for a moment. "Probably. What for?"

"Yeah..." Lance slid slowly out from behind the open fridge door. "What are you doing with Allura?"

Oh no. If they found out, they would want in. Pidge wanted desparately to observe how Star Wars would be recieved by someone with a complete lack of any background in the franchise, and there was no way Lance and Hunk would be able to keep quiet. She didn't usually mind talking during movies, but Lance would spoil the movies and Hunk would pause it to explain the technical details. And neither of them would care for Pidge's viewing order.

This was an opportunity no Earthling had ever had before, and she was not going to lose it. Even if she had to play her trump card.

"We're having a slumber party." She lied. "I really appreciate how you guys don't treat me any differently since you found out I'm a girl, but I haven't been able to do any really girly stuff since I infiltrated the garrison. I miss dresses and hairclips and make-up. I told Allura how I was feeling, and she suggested we have a day in where we can just be girls together." She made her eyes wide. "You understand, right?"

Lance looked guilty for even suggesting otherwise, then pulled Pidge into a hug. "Of course we understand!"

Hunk wrapped his arms around both of them. "We totally get it! I'll make you the best snacks you've ever had."

Pidge had been holding on to that for a year. It would never work again, not after they discovered the deception. 

She prayed it would be worth it.


End file.
